I guess this is a season of reflecting on God’s abundant grace in my life. How often I need reminding of all that He has done and the numerous ways He has blessed me.
Journal entry from 11/8/2009 – If I live the truth, order my life by it, even when I don’t feel it – will I eventually believe it? I’ve been raised to believe that God is good and loving, that His mercy covers, sin, that He forgives His children and loves us unconditionally. I want to believe this is true. I want to live in this truth.
I want to see me through Jesus’ eyes.
I want to know how He sees me.
I want to live confidently in who He says I am, not how I feel about myself.
If I live like I believe the things I’ve written, if I force myself to walk in those truth, will my emotions eventually line up?
It seems hypocritical to do that – to live one way when my heart screams the opposite.
But I don’t know how what else to do.
I don’t feel God’s love or grace or even His presence. But I think I should live in the truth that He is there even when I don’t feel Him.